The Escape ARtists:
Book One: Escpae to Everland
Reminder -of what this project is and what it means in case I get swept up in real life, sadness or forget —read this to remind me my joyful, positive ingestions to write this as a safe place with incredible pepole who want me, who have been talking of me, as I am who know me, who need me my imagination me in all my forms —and are just as real as any other fictions person I talk to;
Know know shame write anything regardless of morals, taboo
Escpae artists isnt a story its a fantasy (create a world fully just as real as ours, a safe one, to enter into whenever life becomes unbabrle in its emptyniss and uncertainty but also in its tenuous small drips of love and incredibleness small bits of love, of achievement of hope, of realness so far outside of your control —-that you have long been fighting for —-
Here with your imagination you will rebuild
The powers of imagination the holy magic you must believe you caniamagine a world —like the internet —-to live in alongside the real, just as the real becomes less and livable as it becomes a yin yang
The wonderful fanstasy of life the Escpae artsist make for you isnt a reaplcement of real life but related a manatee to get back in touch with yourself and realize your true poetical a mirror world of what life could be in all it forms
Story (fansny) is:
Experimental (no form, no care for story structure many different plots going on —-will be guided by pleasure what story what scene what place I want to write about rather then a linear or even non liar story —not all positive some based on catharsis or fullfiling emotional romantic needs I have not met
As my written life -to be imagined
—-will give me courage and stenegeth and solace that even if my “real life”comes up short —-I am living here and through me its always safe, always here even if I have no page no written form as long as I live as long as I can imagine —the story contains
So—remember
You are writing to feel joy
Creating an expansive world, (a playground) of witch you can live in, TEH treehouse the druids choosing you, for the time Tavel for—all else and every other story the killer queens go on -every other Fanstsy sexual or otherwise —-set in a world a Miri riot world to my own where all is eetqtrtred and heightened to its greatest extremity to its most liiattary easy to live with format —-tropes and fiction fansny are what PEPOLE remember —-
Remember to ignore all pressures for publishing
All pressures of form aside from experiencing with them for the sake of charchtwrs different interests and your own creative desire to expand the richness of the story but overall its about the fansny and the ememrrnessnes of he experiences
Not telling a “compelling” story
just remember that
You will never show anyone any of the drawings comics maps or items related to the Escpae artists ——you will never do so, ever, write as if this is he true life you are living at the time though your self instert writing is simply your magic in TEH story at work your eruim —-your power not yet unlocked
And when life gets wild —-and you cant do your homework due to time and pressure and ADHD and not understanding it or the metrials —-when mental illness and life’s slowness and confusion consume you in your pocket you always have a portal to Everland —to your truest freinds and wha the want from you—a world everexpanding of your own making —-far more grand, more complex then you or anyone can ever rea;like you have no idea where the story is going —
But somthing in your life full of joy —full of joy —
Where morality and justice is Wynette truly worth it (killing of a users and phyctstrists —-making things fun, but not totally unrealistic —-
A sandbox to explore every emotion deep injsdi3e you
Every grand idea —-every fansny —every musketry genre time period possibility —-to be any person to love any person ——to life any life and tell any story
Sex scenes murder —exploring every taboo or not depending on what you desire to write at the time and where it takes you—-not writing if you dont want to, even having your adhd being part of the writing form (a form of ping ponging ideas down the stream of conspicuous an Experimental expression of inbounding imagination —-not just expressing your menatal illness in a literal sense but finding transgressive ways through TEH charchtwrs to cope —-modeling what good parenting love and art justice family —look like
exploring all topics for the point of pleasure and
Remember while writing it
Unlike all your future short stories
You can write it on blogger on google docs, Escpae artists is yours, its—-whatever you want it to be
You can write it as a comic, write it as TEH short stories on here or stop writing it together and replace it with somthing much better down the line but its about your pleasure your fansny —to live through it and dance and enjoy it not suffering under the belt but writing my way out and through and imagining my way out and imaging my way through life —realness of what anyone else says you dont have to tell a soul about it in fact you shouldn’t —if you are not in stressed in baearing the witness yo theri jisgemegt especially your fathers as you know what he will say and what many similar fillstine closed minded pepole will say:
It will be your secret your connection to Everland no one knows but you —a secret a sacred thing that makes you feel safe and special when all else falls away or seems Grand but overcoming and out of your control and confusing as it often does —-becuase it doesn’t have to.
Great art is often not understood great art is often quite useless and quite wonderful
And find joy again in the quotes the poetry the discretions inducement of wonderful secnenry the music the taking your time enjoying the moment the emotions the characters —-their dynamics with or without you how they view you —-how you imagine manny view you but simply cant tell you or if they knew you the real you, they would say so —or your real freinds someday will:
A story to give you hope to give you life to give shape and construct to a mind often lost in the frustrating soup of its own workings —-a story that embraces, celebrates raelmims doesn’t deny the hardship of but —-heals and makes a pathway through away from the judge mental —“real world” that were are not doomed to walk like shadows through alone
that anxious, traumatized, true mind —can be color and imagination and i would rather focus on it, bask in the color the madness the Guinness, stop denying it, and live in it, and dance in the inebtween -let what has been calling me there to the positive joyful land —-on that other side beyond finally Warner its call, telling me of my true powers,not going through the real worlds pathway for true happyniss
But much more through imagination as when I was young -
Healing the inner child through shameless true, bueatful joyful, series is my most theaprtuic activity —-and all the time in the background of life using life as inspiration for new stories —and vise Vera ——and stop stopping myself from starting this joyful life here just becuase —-of the stress o school its time
It’s time to write my life here to imagine it as It was always calling me, in its white spiraling trueness its time
Now to
Eddie’s diary entry the dandy diaries
Part one: Confessions under a parnylized willow tree of a man —learning to dance.
Eddie’s POV (September 10th, 2024 -the first day )
I was tired at the end of the second day to the third week, but In truth I forgot how it all started what I was doing here
But in truth sadly even when I didn’t want to be, I wanted somthing it could be said —-was never going to fully happen for me a true fresh start like those Victorian wemon who lie about their sordid dark pasts in vile boarding schools (as my own) and say they are gentleman from far off lands to run off to join the army to fight in, distant wars or—live some other who second, true life of theri own and now —-I often yurn for somthing so real a clean break from my past cutting the twisted razor, the fates thread of life tying me to one to one work of art I no longer yurn to run from but to reclaim though doing so is…how do you do such a thing
How does one reclaim a past without simply letting it consume them how does one, become a phenoix and fly away without turning into an incongruous and burning their own wings off flying uncharted into a blazing sun —-I promised myself long ago I would not be a coutatratry tale —-
That’s the thing about you, Hamlet or I suppose today you are more like Scott Favor, having me stuck in my own preciaours promise of love and dark Portland hsuters corners —destined to only drag me back to hell and hell and hell and hell becuase you think it’s wonderful and it’s where I always am destined to be, am destined to be, —-you dont really understand you dont rally understand I said to them on the phone —-my new shrink and my other new shrink at that nice school lounge like a realdesprpaite little office —-having that ral understanding career lady clock me as mentally unstable felt like a knife trying to be professional cant even without getting shoved into a crisis center when I —-was —well I wasn’t fine —-but it didn’t help —-I said but I didn’t say becuase we only had an hour and I only talked about my past same old same old with Johnny or Scott or more like Johnny that regular dark bastard not hamlet today its real hard to see him as romantic or even the tragic or theatrical kind of horrible —-the kind of bastard friend you cant get rid of, I told them though with everthing I could I said —-hey you right shrink you know what its like to have ptsd im running out of time…and im stuck in time frozen
In hell
Im trapped ————I cant speak your lalaguge doomed to be a lover to be in love love love disorring romance connection true connection true bonds so strongly so much to my bones it crumbles my soul with a world so powerfully and so much more—-more and more —-a world more grey and looking more and more the same every day I can hardly tell it apart TEH days and building and years elections and blend together —-I wish my life didn’t
I say you don’t understand what it like to have PTSD maybe they do, but It’s agaony —-living in hell, when you want to live in the present most pepole exist that is all you didn’t serve hell only to have Johnny say —-force you drag you kicking an dscramming back to the padding rooms of Utah like its a perfect edgy daydream like …you want to feel it again to be there anymore like you aren’t ashamed to sound like a broken record like—-you dont wish for more in you present to latch onto even if you had endless love you fear you would still be at Johnny’s mercy its horrible thing —-
But I didn’t say that
All mental Illneses I try to think of them like in new ways all the time so they are easy to live with since I have to many to keep track of —since
As I sit under the willow tree at atop the mountain watching the sports games and the PEPOLE walk along the bridges the hippies and loves and…wish and hipe I would be doing better things by now, I say things all the time—-like im stuck like my life should be different by now should be better sure that’s pressure but I —-feel so, empty
It’s a true agaony a 21st centerry anauie I cant help buy feel pernetious for even expressing poetically or not
I hate my life
I am comnsomic flower, a magic blue velvet head of infinitive feverish -cant be contained want the adventure want the love I was denied
I lived Half a life was written off and ignored —-as the timing are as far too many are
I lived —I suffered more then I can Basar and im tired of carrying this pain so much I want to force others to be mentally ill to see what I epeince to suffer too
I want them to see what’s it like to be locked up —when theri 14 incocent just want love in their youth the assylm that stole their youth Their youth only for the world to only get colder more composited not just complicated but…loosing all its…sense the men with no imagation who configured our world —-I have been slipping away from this world for a while now not like I wanna kill myself or anything but…I cant explain it I have just been having visions having…bizarre visions of…the future of a past the fansny we remember that we were denied of a queer family of a real life remeaigiend the past as it was the stories we were never told to models our life after of libration found family and queer love —of imagination
I think imagination is coming back to me…its coming back to me, and I love it but im scared —-I hate how the world has sucked all TEH color from my bones I hate how my past made me unfit to be in it fullfiling their prophecy but somtimes I wonder, what my future holds I cant be sad forever but whenever I go whoever I meet nothing changes —-I am always haunted by my past and cant never burst out of this bubble —-man ——and become the artsist the true artsists I was born to be=-
Like somtimes I think I was born to be —-far more TEH I am to burst out my talents are being so ignored —but then I realize —being famous or susfull n this world isnt really somthing I would want it or is it? And —-would I wanna be sufufusll —even though that’s the only metric of success in our world that I feel like im suck in pergtory the in between I haven’t given up on yet I still live in I believe in I just have stopped waiting for a savior stopped thinking all my dreams are gonna come true stopped expecting so much from life even if I think I delve and should imagine so much more becuase life is—-truly so short and it seems to be getting only more grey and confusing and hard especially for someone ;like me hard to find time, hard to feel joy hard to, do, anything I actully wanna do and after a lifetime of torture I dont wanna talk about but also need and want to find a way to radically heal and get justice form in a way I haven’t yet discovered —-
I also think even though I would get restless and tired I do just wanna settle down, im so tired of fighting of…all this, Im so tired so tired of evething I’ve been doing in life so far.
I just wanna find a husband I like and…settle down. That’s all I want at this po8bt but —-I would get bored —-I know it, but also I do just wanna rest ESSINATLLY with PEPOLE who are kind and understand me as I feel like no one, does and very few do,
Often times i
I yurn for adventure —-to overpower the voi9ces saying im reckless not ready to austic and I can’t handle it and I just wanna run off with PEPOLE who understand me will convince me we will change the world to get rich to Chang TEH world or find a new one I just need to find artsist who udnetnad me that I am not like EVRYONE else truly im aware many thing that—-but its becoming clear for me its…different im truly not like EVRYONE else and I’m not shy about it…I need and I want to be a part of TEH world but the world makes it clear and has for years it doesn’t want me as I am or even as I was hiding and being someone I wasn’t and dying on the inside I —
I just need to
making me go on like a broken record
I was reminded by Hamlet though today he was more like—-
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